I have 3 different MCs that I'm working with right now, all in the same story. And they are all hiding so much, especially from themselves. One of them is concealing regret- or, not even regret necessarily, but the possibility of it. She doesn't want to ask herself if she's happy because she doesn't know what she would do with the answer…
I have 3 different MCs that I'm working with right now, all in the same story. And they are all hiding so much, especially from themselves. One of them is concealing regret- or, not even regret necessarily, but the possibility of it. She doesn't want to ask herself if she's happy because she doesn't know what she would do with the answer if it's negative. And yet, dissatisfaction still bubbles to the surface.
Another is concealing her struggles- not so much from herself, but from others. She feels so much guilt and she is afraid that someone will see it and believe that she is right to feel that way. She's unsure of what she's doing but feels compelled to put on a mask of certainty. From herself, she's hiding that maybe she doesn't have to feel this way, maybe she is actually doing her best- but she can't admit that because she doesn't feel like it would be right to let herself off the hook.
And the final (and most interesting, to me) is hiding EVERYTHING from the rest of the world, and it's eating away at her, but at least she's honest with herself about this concealment- something huge is happening inside her, something that will end everything for everyone, and she isn't conflicted about keeping this secret- but she won't let herself feel anything about it. Or, rather, she won't let herself acknowledge her feelings about it. Because it is inevitable, so she sees no point in dwelling. But deep down, she is terrified. And she feels so guilty. And she's not sure if she's right to feel this way.
Wow, amazing job getting clear on your characters' inner-workings and stickiness (with the world at large, but also with themselves!). So compelling. I'm curious, how have you found writing/disguising this subtext into your WIP dialogue so far?
I'm still writing the first draft, so for now I would say it's a lot of either really explicit or really mundane that I'm hoping to sort of mash together. We are also very close to the characters' thoughts, so there's a lot to play with with the difference between what they think and what they say. And for hiding things from themselves, I try to bring them very close to the truth, but stubbornly avoid it.
Nikita, I think that writer's instinct you're having ("bring them very close to the truth, but stubbornly avoid it) is EXACTLY IT! Because this is what we fucked-up humans do in real life. We want to be free, we want to be happy ... we're so scared to do the hard stuff; confront the hard stuff.
I have 3 different MCs that I'm working with right now, all in the same story. And they are all hiding so much, especially from themselves. One of them is concealing regret- or, not even regret necessarily, but the possibility of it. She doesn't want to ask herself if she's happy because she doesn't know what she would do with the answer if it's negative. And yet, dissatisfaction still bubbles to the surface.
Another is concealing her struggles- not so much from herself, but from others. She feels so much guilt and she is afraid that someone will see it and believe that she is right to feel that way. She's unsure of what she's doing but feels compelled to put on a mask of certainty. From herself, she's hiding that maybe she doesn't have to feel this way, maybe she is actually doing her best- but she can't admit that because she doesn't feel like it would be right to let herself off the hook.
And the final (and most interesting, to me) is hiding EVERYTHING from the rest of the world, and it's eating away at her, but at least she's honest with herself about this concealment- something huge is happening inside her, something that will end everything for everyone, and she isn't conflicted about keeping this secret- but she won't let herself feel anything about it. Or, rather, she won't let herself acknowledge her feelings about it. Because it is inevitable, so she sees no point in dwelling. But deep down, she is terrified. And she feels so guilty. And she's not sure if she's right to feel this way.
Wow, amazing job getting clear on your characters' inner-workings and stickiness (with the world at large, but also with themselves!). So compelling. I'm curious, how have you found writing/disguising this subtext into your WIP dialogue so far?
I'm still writing the first draft, so for now I would say it's a lot of either really explicit or really mundane that I'm hoping to sort of mash together. We are also very close to the characters' thoughts, so there's a lot to play with with the difference between what they think and what they say. And for hiding things from themselves, I try to bring them very close to the truth, but stubbornly avoid it.
Nikita, I think that writer's instinct you're having ("bring them very close to the truth, but stubbornly avoid it) is EXACTLY IT! Because this is what we fucked-up humans do in real life. We want to be free, we want to be happy ... we're so scared to do the hard stuff; confront the hard stuff.