Hi Sarah! If you're not feeling like an outright creepoid, you're not ... creating!? Let's make that the new rule! :-) THANK YOU for sharing this instrinsically comedic eavesdropped convo! (Sidenote: Can't tell you how many conversations I've overheard where the men are doing 85% of the talking. Including countless Tinder/Hinge/Bumble da…
Hi Sarah! If you're not feeling like an outright creepoid, you're not ... creating!? Let's make that the new rule! :-) THANK YOU for sharing this instrinsically comedic eavesdropped convo! (Sidenote: Can't tell you how many conversations I've overheard where the men are doing 85% of the talking. Including countless Tinder/Hinge/Bumble dates!)
What you're touching on is that SO much of what's happening in conversations (especially between people who know each other less) is *performance*. This is adjacent to, but a little different from, the gleaming tile floor that covers subtext. Performance is more about bravado and power moves: trying to make the other person see them a certain way, trying to drive the conversation, trying to seduce/charm/ingratiate.
Also: You know how people HATE to hear their own voice on a recording? Part of that is for sure just being confronted with your own visceral reality, and the weird-ick of it all, but I have a theory that a LOT of that is that when we hear ourselves speaking we're suddenly aware of how much bullshit performance we're doing ourselves—how disingenuous or conniving (it's not a "bad person" thing, just a human thing). Which is to say: I bet you if these people overheard themselves as you heard them, they would also cringe. :-)
I'd invite you to copy & paste this comment into Lesson #2 (now live!), because people will be exploring their eavesdropped gems there. And thank you for sharing!!
Hi Sarah! If you're not feeling like an outright creepoid, you're not ... creating!? Let's make that the new rule! :-) THANK YOU for sharing this instrinsically comedic eavesdropped convo! (Sidenote: Can't tell you how many conversations I've overheard where the men are doing 85% of the talking. Including countless Tinder/Hinge/Bumble dates!)
What you're touching on is that SO much of what's happening in conversations (especially between people who know each other less) is *performance*. This is adjacent to, but a little different from, the gleaming tile floor that covers subtext. Performance is more about bravado and power moves: trying to make the other person see them a certain way, trying to drive the conversation, trying to seduce/charm/ingratiate.
Also: You know how people HATE to hear their own voice on a recording? Part of that is for sure just being confronted with your own visceral reality, and the weird-ick of it all, but I have a theory that a LOT of that is that when we hear ourselves speaking we're suddenly aware of how much bullshit performance we're doing ourselves—how disingenuous or conniving (it's not a "bad person" thing, just a human thing). Which is to say: I bet you if these people overheard themselves as you heard them, they would also cringe. :-)
I'd invite you to copy & paste this comment into Lesson #2 (now live!), because people will be exploring their eavesdropped gems there. And thank you for sharing!!
Oh gosh - yes! He was full on performance mode. I will copy it over now. Thanks.