2. The frost outlined the leaves on the ground and the blackbird shrugged them apart.
3. The frost outlined the leaves as the sun rose.
4. The frost outlined the leaves and the pigeon waddled across the grass, just before the sparrowhawk swooped in for the kill.
5. As the sun rose,the frost outlined the leaves and the grass glittered. The wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out of the window and she lifted the cup to her lips. She winced, as the sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
6. The sun rose and the frost outlined the leaves. The grass glittered and the wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out the window and she lifted the cup to her lips. She winced and the sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
7. The sun rose. The frost outlined the leaves. The grass glittered. The wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out the window. She lifted the cup to her lips. She winced. The sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
8. The bitter frost drew a precise sparkling outline around every single leaf of all the bushes in the garden, regardless of size, shape or position.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
I said goodbye to that girl and I mourned her.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
I said goodbye to that girl, who carried so much joy.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
I said goodbye to that girl, who carried so much joy, and I mourned her.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly. Her happiness made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained this way in my mind.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
I said goodbye to that girl; she carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly, and it made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained that way in my mind.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy. I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness. She carried it in her shoulders carelessly. It made her light and weightless. She could float off. She remained that way in my mind.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
I said goodbye to that girl. (simple)
I, weary and aging, hesitantly said goodbye to that weightlessly joyful girl. (cumulative)
So beautiful and rhythmic! Not only do you create different rhythms through the changes in syntax, but you have different sentence lengths. The two often go hand and hand. Your paragraph shows this so well.
"I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly. Her happiness made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained this way in my mind."
Wow, this was harder than I thought it would be! But so satisfying to play around with sentences. (I'm a first time subscriber and commenter and thrilled to be here).
1. Write a simple sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one left for college.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and if she didn’t box them up and hide them, they would be devoured quickly by all our sticky fingers.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and every year they served as her creative canvas, even long after we had all moved away from home.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. When the cookie sheets appeared and the counter was covered with flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses, we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. Not only were they beautiful to look at, but the flavours ran the gamut of simple sugar cookies to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
Mom’s cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one for college. The cookie sheets appeared along with bins of flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses and we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. They were beautiful to look at and the flavours ran the gamut from simple sugar to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. She produced them long after we had all left one by one for college. The cookie sheets would suddenly appear. The counter would be covered with bins of flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses. The cookie production signalled the official start of the holiday. Her cookies were works of art. The flavours ran the gamut from simple sugar to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread. I would try to replicate these with my own daughter.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
Mom, her apron covered with flour and her long fingers carefully positioning the cookie cutter, started the first of what would become many batches of her epic Christmas cookies, with flavours running the gamut of sugar cookie to more complex linzertorte, some decorated with red and green sugars, others decorated with the simple traditional almonds, all that had to be boxed up and hid from our sticky fingers.
In your compound sentence, you also included a subordinate clause at the end, which begins with "after we had all left..." : "Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one left for college."
You could change it so you have two independent clauses together: Mom's Christmas cookies were epic, and she continued to make them her entire life.
#5: beautiful!
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. When the cookie sheets appeared and the counter was covered with flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses, we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. Not only were they beautiful to look at, but the flavours ran the gamut of simple sugar cookies to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
from #1 sentence=simple; #2=complex #3 compound #4 complex--and you used a correlative conjunction "not only/but"--I love these!
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
Georgina checked into the hotel, yet she had no luggage and still, the bellman escorted her.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
Georgina checked into the hotel when the third-shift employees were exiting.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
Georgina checked into hotel, yet she had no luggage and still, the bellman escorted her as the third-shift employees exited.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
Georgina checked into the hotel, without any luggage, while guests hypnotically drank coffee and scrolled through their devices. The bellman escorted her. Third-shift employees hustled past them for their late-model cars and minivans.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
Georgina checked into the hotel and guests were hypnotically drinking coffee and scrolling through their devices. The bellman escorted her; third-shift employees hustled past them.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
Georgina checked into the hotel. She had no luggage. The bellman escorted her. Guests hypnotically drank coffee. Third-shift employees exited quickly. Guests scrolled through their devices.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
Georgina checked into the hotel stylishly dressed, all in white with large, dark sunglasses and a subtly medicinal bouquet.
Fantastic! I loved how this cumulative sentence made me see the specific details of Georgina and also begin to interpret who she might be. "Georgina checked into the hotel stylishly dressed, all in white with large, dark sunglasses and a subtly medicinal bouquet."
All in white makes her seem like a blast of light, like she wants to be noticed. And yet the dark sunglasses--she refuses to be seen, like a movie star. Seen and not seen or not seen intimately. And then the "medicinal bouquet" is wonderfully surprising.
For #5:
Georgina checked into the hotel, without any luggage, while guests hypnotically drank coffee and scrolled through their devices (complex). The bellman escorted her (simple). Third-shift employees hustled past them for their late-model cars and minivans (simple).
To add one more type of sentence, your short sentence could easily become a compound sentence: "The bellman escorted her and they passed by a bunch of women drinking taquila and toasting each other."
She sat alone, quietly chewing her breakfast at the bare kitchen table. It had been the family school table and office table and craft table, but now its function was just to hold placemats and dishware for her husband and her again or the weight of her forearms as the sun turned warm on the wood grain. Outside the window, a chorus of bird chirps tinkled like tiny wind chimes moved by an invisible breeze, and trees, neither iced nor budding, stood starkly ashen and solid. She felt oddly new, like an island without a country or town or family crest. What had become of the chaos and busyness and purpose of being a mother? She moved her spoon to the empty bowl on the table, the surface of which reflected a sort of orange blood that was the memory of trees, the way they pull rivers of hydration and oxygen from root to tip to beyond. She dusted the thin place of tabletop for imaginary crumbs as if they were there again, except this time, her fingers pulsed.
Welcome! So beautiful! I read it through once to enjoy it and then read it to see the variety of sentences that you used to create such rhythms. As the weeks go on, keep this sentence because you are also using so many other style techniques.
I loved the transformation of the table in this compound/complex sentence: "It had been the family school table and office table and craft table (base clause) but (conjunction) now its function was to hold placemats and dishware for her husband her again or the weight of her forearms (base clause #2) as the sun turned warm on the wood grain (dependent clause).
Thanks so much. I loved the scaffolding from simple sentence to complex and compound. It helped me focus on the subject without straying too far (I tend to get scattered). Fun!
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence.
The plane and the helicopter collided, and sixty three people died.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause
When I was ready for bed, not too far from here a plane and a helicopter collided.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
When I was ready for bed, a plane and helicopter collided, and sixty three people died.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
It was 9PM (simple). As I was getting ready for bed, not too far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided (complex). Sixty three people fought for their lives and lost, and I, I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket (compound). My sleep was peaceful, and I knew nothing about the disaster that was unfolding until I woke up in the morning, reading the news and seeing a stream of messages coming in from friends and relatives (compound/complex).
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences.
It was 9PM, and I got ready for bed. At the same time, not far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided, and sixty three people fought for their lives and lost. I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket, and my sleep was all peaceful. I woke up in the morning, all well rested, and Apple News notified me of an article about a plane crash in the Potomac. I thought, “Why are they writing about an old plane crash in the 80s again? Did they find something new? What could it possibly be that it made the news?” But of course, it wasn’t the old plane crash. It was a new one, and messages from friends and relatives began to stream in.
(I didn’t expect this one to be hard)
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
At 9PM, I got ready for bed. At the same time, not far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided. Sixty three lives perished. I knew nothing about it. As usual, I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket and slept peaceful throughout the night. In the morning I woke up feeling refreshed. The phone beeped. I checked. Apple News notified me of an article about the crash. Messages from friends and relatives began to stream in.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
A plane and a helicopter collided at 9 PM, a time when I got into bed, snuggling up under my warm and comfortable blanket, not knowing not too far from here, sixty three people perished in an instant, perished without me knowing, perished possibly without themselves knowing as it appeared neither the helicopter nor the plane saw the accident coming, and the explosion probably killed many instantly and knocked out the rest, so the chance of any of them conscious and struggling in the water was zero, or at least that was what I hope because drowning, desperately praying for someone to save you at the last second, would be a terrible way to go.
I don’t think I did this one correctly. I need to learn more about adjectival phrases.
Your paragraphs #5, #6, #7 exemplify how the rhythm changes dramatically depending on what kind of syntax dominates or if you’re using a variety of sentences. #7 is blunt, choppy, jagged and I began to associate that feeling with the narrator. I begin to paint a picture of this narrator who views the world in this truncated way. #6 with the compound sentences is an example of something called parataxis—everything is on the same level. It’s as if the world has flattened with nothing necessarily drawing more attention than anything else. (the opposite of that is hypotaxis, with some subordination of clauses).
With your cumulative sentence, you modify the opening base clause and then the modification switches. This is absolutely fine, but I just want to point it out to you.
Your opening base clause: A plane and a helicopter collided at 9:PM.
Now you begin to modify it.
First you modify time with a dependent clause: a time when I got into bed
Then you modify the narrator: snuggling up under my warm and comfortable blanket, not knowing not too far from here, sixty three people perished in an instant.
Now you modify the people who were killed:
Perished without me knowing,
perished possibly without themselves knowing as it appeared neither the helicopter nor the plane saw the accident coming,
Second base clause: the explosion (subject) probably killed (verb) many instantly and knocked (verb) out the rest,
Third base clause: so (conjunction) the chance of any of them conscious and struggling in the water was (verb) zero,
Fourth base clause: or at least that was what I hope because drowning was a terrible way to go.
The most commonly used adjectival phrases are the present participle, which is using a verb and adding to the end of it –ing, such as “snuggling, knowing.”
Or past participle, a verb ending in –ed, such as “perished”
You can also use a phrase starting with a possessive pronoun—his, her, its—or a phrase that backtracks and repeats a word (like you did with perish).
Thank you so much. I’m extremely weak on past participle phrase and absolute phrase. I abuse present participle phrases, but rarely find opportunities to use past participle and absolute phrases. I wonder if it is because I don’t know when I should use them. Do you have any suggestions/ways to practice to get used to using them? Thanks.
Thank you again, but I’m confused. You used a prepositional phrase as an absolute phrase. Are prepositional phrases absolute phrases? They’re used the same way?
I got nothing for past participle. The boy fell, his legs crushed by the weight of the motorcycle? It feels like I’m switching subjects, moving away from the boy and to the bike. I also have to think about things that happen before or after the crash, not the crash itself, right? “Driven beyond his capabilities” is the cause, happens before the crash, and “crushed by the weight” is after, the results. So we’re not using past participles to describe how things happen, but the states of things before and after the action/the main clause? Hope that doesn’t sound too confusing. Again, thank you for all your help.
Sorry, I jumped ahead of myself: the absolute phrase could be: The wind blowing. So you have a noun followed by a past or present participle.
In your example, The boy fell--base clause.
then you start describing something about the boy--"his legs." So that modifier refers back to the subject of the base clause because "his legs" are a part of him. You don't have to write a cumulative sentence as a sequential process. As you note, I can jump before the crash, after the crash. The key is what are you going to modify in the base clause? The subject? verb? direct object? indirect object? the entire thing?
I was thinking about sentences. I thought sentences were living things, with limbs. Living things, with branching limbs, pliant brains, beating hearts, wills. I invited a handsome sentence into my home, and despite my welcome, it sat there, glaring at me, suspicion written in its full-stop eyes. I made the sentence tea, I gave it sweet biscuits, I told it a wry pun, I clapped it on the back, I praised its relatives; all was in vain—it sat, silent and disapproving. So I moved on to a paragraph.
This is great. One thing I'd add to Nina's suggestions: Try to end your sentences with some sort of provocation. It'll propel readers into the next sentence. Take a couple of samples from Clives James' book Cultural Amnesia.
Here's James talking about Mao Zedong and the havoc he wrought:
"The flowers bloomed, the schools of thought contended, and Mao’s executioners went to work. The slogan had the same function as the Constitution of the Soviet Union, which Aleksandr Zinoviev tellingly defined as a document published in order to find out who agreed with it, so that they could be dealt with."
Notice how James ends sentences with a provocation? You can't help but read on.
Look at this essay of his on F. Scott Fitzgerald.
"F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896–1940) is a cautionary tale, but the tale is about us more than about him. Tormented by a glamorous marriage that went wrong, drinking himself to destruction while doing second-rate work to pay the bills, lost in a Hollywood system guaranteed to frustrate what was left of his ability, he became the focal point of numberless journalistic stories about the waste of a literary talent. He himself gave the starting signal for that approach with the self-flagellating articles later collected by his friend Edmund Wilson in The Crack-Up. Faultless in its transparent style and full of true things about the perils of the creative life, it is certainly a book to read and remember, but not until we have read and remembered (indeed memorized) The Great Gatsby and Tender Is the Night. Otherwise we might get the absurd idea that one of the most important modern writers spent his career preparing himself for a suitably edifying disintegration."
Look at how many of those sentences have provocative ideas or clauses toward the end of sentences. James was a great writer because he did this A LOT. I try in my own books and magazine pieces to do the same.
Thank you for contributing this suggestion and these examples!
I'd add to the first example that there is a vivid contrast or antithesis between the beauty of "flowers bloomed," and the sense of social and intellectual vibrancy versus the next part of the sentence, "Mao's executioners went to work." He's using the same technique with Fitzgerald, with the long list of self destruction and demise juxtaposed to his brilliance as a writer.
Long time lurker, first time commentor-of-my-exercises!! This was a great, succinct write-up of a really interesting and complicated topic. Loved the examples and explanations. Had fun disconnecting from my work in progress to just think about what made me want to be a writer in the first place--words!
1. Write a simple sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
The mother rocked the baby in her arms and tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby and she treid to remember something from a long ago dream.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her, and waited for her infant to fall back to sleep.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
The baby began to cry again as soon as his mother had gotten back to bed. Pushing the heavy blanket of exhaustion off, she stumbled back to her son’s room, her husband breathing evenly on his side of the bed. She didn’t turn any lights on, the glowing star nightlight in the windowsill illuminated the well-trodden path from door to crib, from crib to rocker. The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, trying to remember a dream from some long-ago time.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
The baby began to cry as soon as his mother had gotten back to bed and she rolled over unhappily, pushing the heavy blanket of exhaustion off herself. Her husband continued to breath evenly, undisturbed on his side of the bed but she stumbled back to her son’s room. She didn’t turn any lights on and used the light of the glow starnight light to guide her steps along the well-trodden path from door to crib, crib to rocker. The mother rocked her son in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, and she tried to remember a dream from some long-ago time.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
The mother rocked her baby in her arms.
The mother, bleary eyed and heavy with exhaustion, rocked her newborn son with his pink cheeked cherub face contorted in unhappy whimpers that escaped from him any time he was forced to stay alone in his crib for more than a few minutes at a time, while she tried to remember a dream from some long-ago time, a dream where she had clean hair and ambitions beyond several connected hours of sleep.
Oh yay! I thought it was really fun to keep rolling and unrolling the same sets of words and seeing how they changed each iteration. Did you share your exercises? I'm going to go check the rest of the thread for them.
I'm so glad you're here! And you're playing around with sentences! This is the way to grow as a writer, truly! I'm going to clarify the concepts, pointing some things out. I hope you don't mind.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
The mother rocked the baby in her arms and tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
First, this is a beautiful sentence! What you've created is a simple sentence with a compound verb (two verbs) rocked/tried. To create a compound sentence, we need a subject in the second half of it: The mother rocked the baby in her arms and she tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby and she treid to remember something from a long ago dream.
What you've got here is a compound/complex sentence. Let me show you:
1. simple sentence: The mother rocked the baby in her arms
2. dependent clause: while she cooed a lullaby
3. simple sentence: she tried to remember something from a long ago dream.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her, and waited for her infant to fall back to sleep.
This is a really interesting sentence. Let me break it down:
1. simple sentence (also called independent clause or base clause): The mother rocked the baby in her arms.
2. dependent clause: while she cooed a lullaby
3. modifier: the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her (adds more details to the subject, which is she/mother
4. a second verb (so now you've got a compound verb structure) that ties back to the first simple sentence.
I hope this is helpful! Let me just say, all of these sentences are beautiful! I want to clarify the construction for you, giving you language for what you've created.
What detailed precise feedback Nina gives the contributions! I am a newbie and very impressed. Thank you so much.
Write a simple sentence.
1. The frost outlined the leaves.
2. The frost outlined the leaves on the ground and the blackbird shrugged them apart.
3. The frost outlined the leaves as the sun rose.
4. The frost outlined the leaves and the pigeon waddled across the grass, just before the sparrowhawk swooped in for the kill.
5. As the sun rose,the frost outlined the leaves and the grass glittered. The wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out of the window and she lifted the cup to her lips. She winced, as the sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
6. The sun rose and the frost outlined the leaves. The grass glittered and the wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out the window and she lifted the cup to her lips. She winced and the sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
7. The sun rose. The frost outlined the leaves. The grass glittered. The wood pigeon waddled across the lawn. The woman looked out the window. She lifted the cup to her lips. She winced. The sparrowhawk slammed into the pigeon in a fountain spray of feathers.
8. The bitter frost drew a precise sparkling outline around every single leaf of all the bushes in the garden, regardless of size, shape or position.
THANK YOU FOR THIS EXERCISE! VERY VERY HELPFUL.
Fantastic
1. Write a simple sentence.
I said goodbye to that girl.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
I said goodbye to that girl and I mourned her.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
I said goodbye to that girl, who carried so much joy.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
I said goodbye to that girl, who carried so much joy, and I mourned her.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly. Her happiness made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained this way in my mind.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
I said goodbye to that girl; she carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly, and it made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained that way in my mind.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy. I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness. She carried it in her shoulders carelessly. It made her light and weightless. She could float off. She remained that way in my mind.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
I said goodbye to that girl. (simple)
I, weary and aging, hesitantly said goodbye to that weightlessly joyful girl. (cumulative)
So beautiful and rhythmic! Not only do you create different rhythms through the changes in syntax, but you have different sentence lengths. The two often go hand and hand. Your paragraph shows this so well.
"I said goodbye to that girl. She carried so much joy, and I mourned her. I reflected on her happiness, which she carried in her shoulders carelessly. Her happiness made her light and weightless, as if she could float off, and she remained this way in my mind."
Thanks for sharing this
Reading these, I feel the warmth of a classroom on a false spring day. Promise. And the back row.
Jig’s up.
Jig’s up and cow knows it.
Cow jumps over the moon. Dish and spoon get the hell out and gone too.
Look out motherfuckers! Look out!
Nobody’s gonna hold that bag. Screw you and the highwater jetsam mark you washed in on.
Jig’s up.
Wow, this was harder than I thought it would be! But so satisfying to play around with sentences. (I'm a first time subscriber and commenter and thrilled to be here).
1. Write a simple sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one left for college.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and if she didn’t box them up and hide them, they would be devoured quickly by all our sticky fingers.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and every year they served as her creative canvas, even long after we had all moved away from home.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. When the cookie sheets appeared and the counter was covered with flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses, we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. Not only were they beautiful to look at, but the flavours ran the gamut of simple sugar cookies to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
Mom’s cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one for college. The cookie sheets appeared along with bins of flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses and we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. They were beautiful to look at and the flavours ran the gamut from simple sugar to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. She produced them long after we had all left one by one for college. The cookie sheets would suddenly appear. The counter would be covered with bins of flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses. The cookie production signalled the official start of the holiday. Her cookies were works of art. The flavours ran the gamut from simple sugar to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread. I would try to replicate these with my own daughter.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
Mom, her apron covered with flour and her long fingers carefully positioning the cookie cutter, started the first of what would become many batches of her epic Christmas cookies, with flavours running the gamut of sugar cookie to more complex linzertorte, some decorated with red and green sugars, others decorated with the simple traditional almonds, all that had to be boxed up and hid from our sticky fingers.
Cathy,
So glad you're here! Such great sentences!
Just to parse this out a bit:
In your compound sentence, you also included a subordinate clause at the end, which begins with "after we had all left..." : "Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic and she continued to produce them long after we had all left one by one left for college."
You could change it so you have two independent clauses together: Mom's Christmas cookies were epic, and she continued to make them her entire life.
#5: beautiful!
Mom’s Christmas cookies were epic. When the cookie sheets appeared and the counter was covered with flour, butter, red and green sugars, pecans, molasses, we knew the holidays had officially started. Mom always made at least five different kinds and the results were works of art. Not only were they beautiful to look at, but the flavours ran the gamut of simple sugar cookies to more complex gingerbread, linzertorte and spicy gingerbread.
from #1 sentence=simple; #2=complex #3 compound #4 complex--and you used a correlative conjunction "not only/but"--I love these!
Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed seeing your mind work through the images with each exercise.
You showed your work! Now I need Tiny Tates.
1. Write a simple sentence.
Georgina checked into the hotel.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
Georgina checked into the hotel, yet she had no luggage and still, the bellman escorted her.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
Georgina checked into the hotel when the third-shift employees were exiting.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
Georgina checked into hotel, yet she had no luggage and still, the bellman escorted her as the third-shift employees exited.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
Georgina checked into the hotel, without any luggage, while guests hypnotically drank coffee and scrolled through their devices. The bellman escorted her. Third-shift employees hustled past them for their late-model cars and minivans.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
Georgina checked into the hotel and guests were hypnotically drinking coffee and scrolling through their devices. The bellman escorted her; third-shift employees hustled past them.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
Georgina checked into the hotel. She had no luggage. The bellman escorted her. Guests hypnotically drank coffee. Third-shift employees exited quickly. Guests scrolled through their devices.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
Georgina checked into the hotel stylishly dressed, all in white with large, dark sunglasses and a subtly medicinal bouquet.
Dang...
Fantastic! I loved how this cumulative sentence made me see the specific details of Georgina and also begin to interpret who she might be. "Georgina checked into the hotel stylishly dressed, all in white with large, dark sunglasses and a subtly medicinal bouquet."
All in white makes her seem like a blast of light, like she wants to be noticed. And yet the dark sunglasses--she refuses to be seen, like a movie star. Seen and not seen or not seen intimately. And then the "medicinal bouquet" is wonderfully surprising.
For #5:
Georgina checked into the hotel, without any luggage, while guests hypnotically drank coffee and scrolled through their devices (complex). The bellman escorted her (simple). Third-shift employees hustled past them for their late-model cars and minivans (simple).
To add one more type of sentence, your short sentence could easily become a compound sentence: "The bellman escorted her and they passed by a bunch of women drinking taquila and toasting each other."
Thanks. There was smoke coming out of my ears on this one.
Like Sarah, I'm also a first-time commenter.
She sat alone, quietly chewing her breakfast at the bare kitchen table. It had been the family school table and office table and craft table, but now its function was just to hold placemats and dishware for her husband and her again or the weight of her forearms as the sun turned warm on the wood grain. Outside the window, a chorus of bird chirps tinkled like tiny wind chimes moved by an invisible breeze, and trees, neither iced nor budding, stood starkly ashen and solid. She felt oddly new, like an island without a country or town or family crest. What had become of the chaos and busyness and purpose of being a mother? She moved her spoon to the empty bowl on the table, the surface of which reflected a sort of orange blood that was the memory of trees, the way they pull rivers of hydration and oxygen from root to tip to beyond. She dusted the thin place of tabletop for imaginary crumbs as if they were there again, except this time, her fingers pulsed.
Muireann,
Welcome! So beautiful! I read it through once to enjoy it and then read it to see the variety of sentences that you used to create such rhythms. As the weeks go on, keep this sentence because you are also using so many other style techniques.
I loved the transformation of the table in this compound/complex sentence: "It had been the family school table and office table and craft table (base clause) but (conjunction) now its function was to hold placemats and dishware for her husband her again or the weight of her forearms (base clause #2) as the sun turned warm on the wood grain (dependent clause).
How was this to write?
Thanks so much. I loved the scaffolding from simple sentence to complex and compound. It helped me focus on the subject without straying too far (I tend to get scattered). Fun!
So glad!!
1. Write a simple sentence.
The plane and a helicopter collided.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence.
The plane and the helicopter collided, and sixty three people died.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause
When I was ready for bed, not too far from here a plane and a helicopter collided.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
When I was ready for bed, a plane and helicopter collided, and sixty three people died.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
It was 9PM (simple). As I was getting ready for bed, not too far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided (complex). Sixty three people fought for their lives and lost, and I, I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket (compound). My sleep was peaceful, and I knew nothing about the disaster that was unfolding until I woke up in the morning, reading the news and seeing a stream of messages coming in from friends and relatives (compound/complex).
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences.
It was 9PM, and I got ready for bed. At the same time, not far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided, and sixty three people fought for their lives and lost. I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket, and my sleep was all peaceful. I woke up in the morning, all well rested, and Apple News notified me of an article about a plane crash in the Potomac. I thought, “Why are they writing about an old plane crash in the 80s again? Did they find something new? What could it possibly be that it made the news?” But of course, it wasn’t the old plane crash. It was a new one, and messages from friends and relatives began to stream in.
(I didn’t expect this one to be hard)
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
At 9PM, I got ready for bed. At the same time, not far from here, a plane and a helicopter collided. Sixty three lives perished. I knew nothing about it. As usual, I snuggled up under my warm and comfortable blanket and slept peaceful throughout the night. In the morning I woke up feeling refreshed. The phone beeped. I checked. Apple News notified me of an article about the crash. Messages from friends and relatives began to stream in.
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
A plane and a helicopter collided at 9 PM, a time when I got into bed, snuggling up under my warm and comfortable blanket, not knowing not too far from here, sixty three people perished in an instant, perished without me knowing, perished possibly without themselves knowing as it appeared neither the helicopter nor the plane saw the accident coming, and the explosion probably killed many instantly and knocked out the rest, so the chance of any of them conscious and struggling in the water was zero, or at least that was what I hope because drowning, desperately praying for someone to save you at the last second, would be a terrible way to go.
I don’t think I did this one correctly. I need to learn more about adjectival phrases.
So great!
Your paragraphs #5, #6, #7 exemplify how the rhythm changes dramatically depending on what kind of syntax dominates or if you’re using a variety of sentences. #7 is blunt, choppy, jagged and I began to associate that feeling with the narrator. I begin to paint a picture of this narrator who views the world in this truncated way. #6 with the compound sentences is an example of something called parataxis—everything is on the same level. It’s as if the world has flattened with nothing necessarily drawing more attention than anything else. (the opposite of that is hypotaxis, with some subordination of clauses).
With your cumulative sentence, you modify the opening base clause and then the modification switches. This is absolutely fine, but I just want to point it out to you.
Your opening base clause: A plane and a helicopter collided at 9:PM.
Now you begin to modify it.
First you modify time with a dependent clause: a time when I got into bed
Then you modify the narrator: snuggling up under my warm and comfortable blanket, not knowing not too far from here, sixty three people perished in an instant.
Now you modify the people who were killed:
Perished without me knowing,
perished possibly without themselves knowing as it appeared neither the helicopter nor the plane saw the accident coming,
Second base clause: the explosion (subject) probably killed (verb) many instantly and knocked (verb) out the rest,
Third base clause: so (conjunction) the chance of any of them conscious and struggling in the water was (verb) zero,
Fourth base clause: or at least that was what I hope because drowning was a terrible way to go.
The most commonly used adjectival phrases are the present participle, which is using a verb and adding to the end of it –ing, such as “snuggling, knowing.”
Or past participle, a verb ending in –ed, such as “perished”
You can also use a phrase starting with a possessive pronoun—his, her, its—or a phrase that backtracks and repeats a word (like you did with perish).
Nina
Thank you so much. I’m extremely weak on past participle phrase and absolute phrase. I abuse present participle phrases, but rarely find opportunities to use past participle and absolute phrases. I wonder if it is because I don’t know when I should use them. Do you have any suggestions/ways to practice to get used to using them? Thanks.
As you probably know, an absolute phrase modifies the entire clause. The easiest way to use it is to begin a sentence with it. For instance:
On a windy day, she headed out with her umbrella.
If you don't like that rhythm, then you can start moving it around: She headed out, on a windy day, with her umbrella.
One way to play around and start introducing past participles is to maybe make a list.
Start with your base clause. The boy fell.
Now try a past participle: (it can end in -ed, -d, -en, -t, -n: driven beyond his capabilities,
Now a present participle: falling hard
maybe a simile: like a cannonball crashing,
a prepositional phrase: in front of the entire school
On and on..
Thank you again, but I’m confused. You used a prepositional phrase as an absolute phrase. Are prepositional phrases absolute phrases? They’re used the same way?
I got nothing for past participle. The boy fell, his legs crushed by the weight of the motorcycle? It feels like I’m switching subjects, moving away from the boy and to the bike. I also have to think about things that happen before or after the crash, not the crash itself, right? “Driven beyond his capabilities” is the cause, happens before the crash, and “crushed by the weight” is after, the results. So we’re not using past participles to describe how things happen, but the states of things before and after the action/the main clause? Hope that doesn’t sound too confusing. Again, thank you for all your help.
Sorry, I jumped ahead of myself: the absolute phrase could be: The wind blowing. So you have a noun followed by a past or present participle.
In your example, The boy fell--base clause.
then you start describing something about the boy--"his legs." So that modifier refers back to the subject of the base clause because "his legs" are a part of him. You don't have to write a cumulative sentence as a sequential process. As you note, I can jump before the crash, after the crash. The key is what are you going to modify in the base clause? The subject? verb? direct object? indirect object? the entire thing?
Very interesting. You broke it down for me. This way I get more creative.
Terry F Taylor
I was thinking about sentences. I thought sentences were living things, with limbs. Living things, with branching limbs, pliant brains, beating hearts, wills. I invited a handsome sentence into my home, and despite my welcome, it sat there, glaring at me, suspicion written in its full-stop eyes. I made the sentence tea, I gave it sweet biscuits, I told it a wry pun, I clapped it on the back, I praised its relatives; all was in vain—it sat, silent and disapproving. So I moved on to a paragraph.
So creative! I can picture this glaring sentence. How reticent it is to get to know you!
Sentences, can't trust the damn things. Thank you!
This is great. One thing I'd add to Nina's suggestions: Try to end your sentences with some sort of provocation. It'll propel readers into the next sentence. Take a couple of samples from Clives James' book Cultural Amnesia.
Here's James talking about Mao Zedong and the havoc he wrought:
"The flowers bloomed, the schools of thought contended, and Mao’s executioners went to work. The slogan had the same function as the Constitution of the Soviet Union, which Aleksandr Zinoviev tellingly defined as a document published in order to find out who agreed with it, so that they could be dealt with."
Notice how James ends sentences with a provocation? You can't help but read on.
Look at this essay of his on F. Scott Fitzgerald.
"F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896–1940) is a cautionary tale, but the tale is about us more than about him. Tormented by a glamorous marriage that went wrong, drinking himself to destruction while doing second-rate work to pay the bills, lost in a Hollywood system guaranteed to frustrate what was left of his ability, he became the focal point of numberless journalistic stories about the waste of a literary talent. He himself gave the starting signal for that approach with the self-flagellating articles later collected by his friend Edmund Wilson in The Crack-Up. Faultless in its transparent style and full of true things about the perils of the creative life, it is certainly a book to read and remember, but not until we have read and remembered (indeed memorized) The Great Gatsby and Tender Is the Night. Otherwise we might get the absurd idea that one of the most important modern writers spent his career preparing himself for a suitably edifying disintegration."
Look at how many of those sentences have provocative ideas or clauses toward the end of sentences. James was a great writer because he did this A LOT. I try in my own books and magazine pieces to do the same.
You should, too.
Paul,
Thank you for contributing this suggestion and these examples!
I'd add to the first example that there is a vivid contrast or antithesis between the beauty of "flowers bloomed," and the sense of social and intellectual vibrancy versus the next part of the sentence, "Mao's executioners went to work." He's using the same technique with Fitzgerald, with the long list of self destruction and demise juxtaposed to his brilliance as a writer.
Long time lurker, first time commentor-of-my-exercises!! This was a great, succinct write-up of a really interesting and complicated topic. Loved the examples and explanations. Had fun disconnecting from my work in progress to just think about what made me want to be a writer in the first place--words!
1. Write a simple sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
The mother rocked the baby in her arms and tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby and she treid to remember something from a long ago dream.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her, and waited for her infant to fall back to sleep.
5. Write a paragraph using at least three different types of sentences. If you can use all four, try it! You can put them in any order.
The baby began to cry again as soon as his mother had gotten back to bed. Pushing the heavy blanket of exhaustion off, she stumbled back to her son’s room, her husband breathing evenly on his side of the bed. She didn’t turn any lights on, the glowing star nightlight in the windowsill illuminated the well-trodden path from door to crib, from crib to rocker. The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, trying to remember a dream from some long-ago time.
6. Now take that paragraph and turn all of the sentences into compound sentences. We’re just playing with sound now—how does it sound to have all of these sentences structured this way?
The baby began to cry as soon as his mother had gotten back to bed and she rolled over unhappily, pushing the heavy blanket of exhaustion off herself. Her husband continued to breath evenly, undisturbed on his side of the bed but she stumbled back to her son’s room. She didn’t turn any lights on and used the light of the glow starnight light to guide her steps along the well-trodden path from door to crib, crib to rocker. The mother rocked her son in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, and she tried to remember a dream from some long-ago time.
7. Now change all the sentences to simple sentences. (a la Hemingway and Carver)
8. Write a cumulative sentence. Begin with a simple sentence. What do you want to further describe in that simple sentence? Add three adjectival phases that give more details about something—the subject, verb, direct or indirect object. Like Faulkner’s sentence, you can begin by adding more details to the verb and then switch to the subject.
The mother rocked her baby in her arms.
The mother, bleary eyed and heavy with exhaustion, rocked her newborn son with his pink cheeked cherub face contorted in unhappy whimpers that escaped from him any time he was forced to stay alone in his crib for more than a few minutes at a time, while she tried to remember a dream from some long-ago time, a dream where she had clean hair and ambitions beyond several connected hours of sleep.
Sarah, I really enjoyed reading your sentences, they had me hooked as they built up! I used your example and Nina's feedback to work on my own!
Oh yay! I thought it was really fun to keep rolling and unrolling the same sets of words and seeing how they changed each iteration. Did you share your exercises? I'm going to go check the rest of the thread for them.
Beautiful, honest images and reflections. Thank you for sharing this important topic.
🥰 Thanks Muireann!
Sarah,
I'm so glad you're here! And you're playing around with sentences! This is the way to grow as a writer, truly! I'm going to clarify the concepts, pointing some things out. I hope you don't mind.
2. Use that simple sentence and add a conjunction and another simple sentence. Now you’ve written a compound sentence. (You’re beginning to write like Hemingway!)
The mother rocked the baby in her arms and tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
First, this is a beautiful sentence! What you've created is a simple sentence with a compound verb (two verbs) rocked/tried. To create a compound sentence, we need a subject in the second half of it: The mother rocked the baby in her arms and she tried to remember something from some long ago dream.
3. Use the original simple sentence and add a dependent clause—one that cannot stand alone. Now you’ve got your complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby and she treid to remember something from a long ago dream.
What you've got here is a compound/complex sentence. Let me show you:
1. simple sentence: The mother rocked the baby in her arms
2. dependent clause: while she cooed a lullaby
3. simple sentence: she tried to remember something from a long ago dream.
4. Use the original simple sentence. Add a conjunction, and another simple sentence and also a dependent clause. Now you’ve written a compound/complex sentence.
The mother rocked the baby in her arms while she cooed a lullaby, the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her, and waited for her infant to fall back to sleep.
This is a really interesting sentence. Let me break it down:
1. simple sentence (also called independent clause or base clause): The mother rocked the baby in her arms.
2. dependent clause: while she cooed a lullaby
3. modifier: the heavy blanket of exhaustion covering her (adds more details to the subject, which is she/mother
4. a second verb (so now you've got a compound verb structure) that ties back to the first simple sentence.
I hope this is helpful! Let me just say, all of these sentences are beautiful! I want to clarify the construction for you, giving you language for what you've created.
Nina
Thanks so much!
This is so helpful and such great examples. Thank you!