For "Cost of Admission", I was interested in the link between the title and the narrative. The piece seems to be about the carnival, but the first noun and subject is "forest". The first verb, the forest's action of clearing to "let" humanity in, the machination of the Ferris wheel, the noise and pollution, the feet that trample its creatures, the violence concealed in pockets. Amongst all this noise and razzle-dazzle, the forest is the silent protagonist. Pappas repeats, that tell-tale verb "lets" again halfway through. To the forest, the noise, pollution, destruction is the cost of admission, of letting humanity in. And yet, we pay to go up and around, to view the "something bigger" than ourselves, the forest that we will still destroy. To me, it begins and ends with the forest.
Hi Jo, I've been skimming through your incredible lessons, but am now deep-diving, so back to Lesson #1. Fascinating examples here & excellent questions that really help to yank me inside the text. I write flash, short fiction, but am also a poet, & prose poems are one of my favourite forms. I often find in the drafting I blur the lines between flash & prose poetry - or when it's on the page, I'm not sure what I've written (sometimes it doesn't matter, right?) Two of these, for me, have elements of prose poetry: "Cost of Admission" & King's riveting piece. Yet they also have narrative, King's piece in particular. I don't need answers - it's just interesting. :) Excited to be here, and look forward to more deep-dives in the lessons ahead! (I'm going to write up my thoughts here for "Cost of Admission", as pondering your questions led me into some surprising interpretations!)
The structure of Mother-Mother Wasp Mother reminds me of a lesson we did in a course I took at Writers Studio NY. We copied the technique of a particular story who also used repetition in its phrasing. I enjoyed trying that out in a short story I wrote, however I did receive some recent feedback from an editor that the repetition used took them out of the story a bit. It’s all subjective, of course, but I find it an interesting way to add emphasis.
Repetition is definitely one of my favourite devices in flash fiction. It can be employed in so many ways, & King's piece certainly shows that! Phew! I can't stop thinking about it.
Sounds like a really fun exercise! Repetition can be so effective — I suppose it's all about balance and making sure it's providing impact and not distraction — but this is how we learn, by experimenting!
I'm a poet who has been thinking and wondering about Flash and I started a little late on this course, but I'll catch up. This first exposure was great!
'Cost of Admission' was the flash that tugged my heart strings. It beautifully sets a scene upon which the reader can project their experience and sentiment. The anticipated carnival is an event to mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next, romantically juxtaposing the possibility of violence, unhealthy snacking, crying babies, litter and waiting, with the thrill and longing of so many other experiences left unwritten; sweetness, music, laughter, belonging, community, summer. The transformative power of the ferris wheel looking down on the ocean of trees is a holiday for the senses, and this new perspective allows us to reimagine the space we live and dream in. It got me, oof.
I love your analysis. That story really affects me too, though I've struggled to put my finger on why/how, but you've explained it so well. A huge vision in such a tiny piece of flash.
Thanks for the wonderful stories! Reading good examples is a great way to learn in general but it's also a way to narrow in on what makes me tick. Excited for the coming weeks!
I liked how Collective Nouns turn on target as noun. I liked how Wasp used the songs to speak for the absent mother and was structured with the months of the summer. Priest was a new use of the word for me and was in part about the underlying brutality in a smiling face, it made think of the way college administrators have turned so quickly on their students.
Great observations here. And yes, such wonderful use of images and metaphors in those stories. I love how flash can take something so simple as a song or a swarm of wasps or a fishing trip and tell such a deep story.
Hi Jo and thank you for this course - most of my fiction is shorter, so this is a course that I'm excited about. Quick question - you identify six types of structures - circular, fragmented, woven, repetitious, upside down and inside out. I think I know some of this but am intrigued - an you give a sentence or two defining each? Many thanks - David
Hi David, and apologies for not replying sooner. Glad to have you on board and hope you're enjoying the rest of the workshops.
That list of structures was partly rhetorical but all those kinds of stories definitely exist! We venture into some of these techniques in more detail in subsequent workshops:
I really enjoyed all of them, and I'd like to highlight Kim McGowan's story. I have attempted to write a flash fiction piece about my ex before, but I kept feeling like it needed more context or dialogue and it always ended up feeling long and clunky. McGowan's piece showed me it doesn't have to be that way, and it honestly inspired me to write about it right now! Inspiration was waiting right around the corner for me, it seemed.
Hi Kyrie! I love that piece, too. It's such a revelation to get so much story across in such a tiny chunk of prose. I hope you can delve into your story in a similar way! Later on in the course we're going to be talking a lot about 'writing around the subject' in this way... A very useful technique!
Thanks for joining in. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. :)
Wow. I know very little about Flash Fiction but I read all of the sample texts and I'm already hooked. I was especially drawn to Mother-Mother, Wasp-Mother. If I wasn't enrolled in a flash fiction workshop I would see this as a lyric essay, or some form of creative nonfiction. Could you help me discern the difference? I'm largely a poet but very interested in stretching my literary wings. ;-)
Isn't it just beautiful? I can't speak for this particular piece but I know there is often a lot of CNF tied up in flash (my own included!) and there's a very grey area between the two. I love the phrase 'lyric essay', that fits perfectly here, for sure.
I suppose the difference in Mother-Mother, Wasp-Mother would be the magical realist element, which spins it into a whole new realm of narrative than a straight non-fiction piece?
And yay for poets joining in with flash! Again, there's so much crossover, I think the two genres/mediums work so wonderfully together. Enjoying on watching you spread your wings!
There is SO much poetry in "Mother-Mother, Wasp Mother" and "Collective Nouns for Humans in the Wild" - as a poet, I love the idea of playing with language like this in a different genre.
I am such a massive fan of Ani King and Kathy Fish! Such distinctive voices in flash. And I'm so glad we have some poets on this workshop - there is SO much language to play with, and I think both approaches (flash and poetry) tap into something a little different in the brain...
I'm not going to talk about Kathy's amazing piece only because it's already been mentioned! I also loved "Cost of Admission" by Cheryl Pappas. To me, the concept (or I guess I'm working on the deeper meaning already) is the lengths we go to in trying to forget our lives are as small as they are: trees clearcut, guns a cock away from shooting, babies crying bloody murder, ant colonies destroyed.
I also noted a circular structure and imagery. There's the shape of the Ferris wheel itself and the story ending on the wheel again. And when the ride ends we’ll be right back where we started. The way Pappas reduces us to popcorn-chewers and sandal-wearers gives kind of a dehumanizing, sci-fi vibe. I really admire writers who can pull off a story like this in one sentence!
Lorri, love your analysis of "Cost of Admission" and I didn't notice until I read your comment that Pappas did all *that* in one sentence. My interpretation of "Cost of Admission" is quite different & I love that about flash - it can say different things to different readers.
Wonderful observations, thank you so much for sharing. I love this story too. So tiny but somehow manages to conjure up all that imagery and secondary meaning. You're so right about the circular shape reflecting the wheel, and the turning of our lives. I always feel like this one has an almost cinematic overhead view, as if we're looking down from high above.
The magic of flash, eh? So many more great stories to share. I hope you stick around and keep sharing your insights!
For "Cost of Admission", I was interested in the link between the title and the narrative. The piece seems to be about the carnival, but the first noun and subject is "forest". The first verb, the forest's action of clearing to "let" humanity in, the machination of the Ferris wheel, the noise and pollution, the feet that trample its creatures, the violence concealed in pockets. Amongst all this noise and razzle-dazzle, the forest is the silent protagonist. Pappas repeats, that tell-tale verb "lets" again halfway through. To the forest, the noise, pollution, destruction is the cost of admission, of letting humanity in. And yet, we pay to go up and around, to view the "something bigger" than ourselves, the forest that we will still destroy. To me, it begins and ends with the forest.
Hi Jo, I've been skimming through your incredible lessons, but am now deep-diving, so back to Lesson #1. Fascinating examples here & excellent questions that really help to yank me inside the text. I write flash, short fiction, but am also a poet, & prose poems are one of my favourite forms. I often find in the drafting I blur the lines between flash & prose poetry - or when it's on the page, I'm not sure what I've written (sometimes it doesn't matter, right?) Two of these, for me, have elements of prose poetry: "Cost of Admission" & King's riveting piece. Yet they also have narrative, King's piece in particular. I don't need answers - it's just interesting. :) Excited to be here, and look forward to more deep-dives in the lessons ahead! (I'm going to write up my thoughts here for "Cost of Admission", as pondering your questions led me into some surprising interpretations!)
I'm really enjoying this series. I'm excited to explore the flash form in more detail, and to do some writing! Thank you Jo 🙌
Thanks for taking part! So glad to hear you're enjoying it :D
Thanks. Wonderful post with great info.
Thanks for reading, Jeff.
The structure of Mother-Mother Wasp Mother reminds me of a lesson we did in a course I took at Writers Studio NY. We copied the technique of a particular story who also used repetition in its phrasing. I enjoyed trying that out in a short story I wrote, however I did receive some recent feedback from an editor that the repetition used took them out of the story a bit. It’s all subjective, of course, but I find it an interesting way to add emphasis.
Repetition is definitely one of my favourite devices in flash fiction. It can be employed in so many ways, & King's piece certainly shows that! Phew! I can't stop thinking about it.
Sounds like a really fun exercise! Repetition can be so effective — I suppose it's all about balance and making sure it's providing impact and not distraction — but this is how we learn, by experimenting!
Thank you! I love them all♥️🙏🦋
So glad you enjoyed the stories! Happy writing!
I'm a poet who has been thinking and wondering about Flash and I started a little late on this course, but I'll catch up. This first exposure was great!
Welcome! I love the crossover between flash and poetry (I'm not even sure where the line is, to be honest) so I hope you have fun experimenting.
'Cost of Admission' was the flash that tugged my heart strings. It beautifully sets a scene upon which the reader can project their experience and sentiment. The anticipated carnival is an event to mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next, romantically juxtaposing the possibility of violence, unhealthy snacking, crying babies, litter and waiting, with the thrill and longing of so many other experiences left unwritten; sweetness, music, laughter, belonging, community, summer. The transformative power of the ferris wheel looking down on the ocean of trees is a holiday for the senses, and this new perspective allows us to reimagine the space we live and dream in. It got me, oof.
I love your analysis. That story really affects me too, though I've struggled to put my finger on why/how, but you've explained it so well. A huge vision in such a tiny piece of flash.
Thanks for the wonderful stories! Reading good examples is a great way to learn in general but it's also a way to narrow in on what makes me tick. Excited for the coming weeks!
That's great to hear! You're so right — I don't always take enough time to read flash fiction but when I do it always inspires me.
I liked how Collective Nouns turn on target as noun. I liked how Wasp used the songs to speak for the absent mother and was structured with the months of the summer. Priest was a new use of the word for me and was in part about the underlying brutality in a smiling face, it made think of the way college administrators have turned so quickly on their students.
Hi Dave, love your observations about "Wasp-Mother" & for identifying the noun "target" as the turn in Collective Nouns. Thank you!
Great observations here. And yes, such wonderful use of images and metaphors in those stories. I love how flash can take something so simple as a song or a swarm of wasps or a fishing trip and tell such a deep story.
Hi Jo and thank you for this course - most of my fiction is shorter, so this is a course that I'm excited about. Quick question - you identify six types of structures - circular, fragmented, woven, repetitious, upside down and inside out. I think I know some of this but am intrigued - an you give a sentence or two defining each? Many thanks - David
Hi David, and apologies for not replying sooner. Glad to have you on board and hope you're enjoying the rest of the workshops.
That list of structures was partly rhetorical but all those kinds of stories definitely exist! We venture into some of these techniques in more detail in subsequent workshops:
Repetition: https://writeordie101.substack.com/p/lesson-3-finding-your-flow-with-two
Woven & fragmented: https://writeordie101.substack.com/p/lesson-8-straight-forward-story-weaving
Upside down/inside out (playing with time): https://writeordie101.substack.com/p/lesson-7-how-to-break-the-rules-beautifully
I really enjoyed all of them, and I'd like to highlight Kim McGowan's story. I have attempted to write a flash fiction piece about my ex before, but I kept feeling like it needed more context or dialogue and it always ended up feeling long and clunky. McGowan's piece showed me it doesn't have to be that way, and it honestly inspired me to write about it right now! Inspiration was waiting right around the corner for me, it seemed.
Hi Kyrie! I love that piece, too. It's such a revelation to get so much story across in such a tiny chunk of prose. I hope you can delve into your story in a similar way! Later on in the course we're going to be talking a lot about 'writing around the subject' in this way... A very useful technique!
Thanks for joining in. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. :)
Wow. I know very little about Flash Fiction but I read all of the sample texts and I'm already hooked. I was especially drawn to Mother-Mother, Wasp-Mother. If I wasn't enrolled in a flash fiction workshop I would see this as a lyric essay, or some form of creative nonfiction. Could you help me discern the difference? I'm largely a poet but very interested in stretching my literary wings. ;-)
Yes! I felt the same...and really want to know if it really is a piece of fiction. Such a powerful piece!
Isn't it just beautiful? I can't speak for this particular piece but I know there is often a lot of CNF tied up in flash (my own included!) and there's a very grey area between the two. I love the phrase 'lyric essay', that fits perfectly here, for sure.
I suppose the difference in Mother-Mother, Wasp-Mother would be the magical realist element, which spins it into a whole new realm of narrative than a straight non-fiction piece?
And yay for poets joining in with flash! Again, there's so much crossover, I think the two genres/mediums work so wonderfully together. Enjoying on watching you spread your wings!
Wonderful, thank you. I look forward to playing in this realm. ;-)
There is SO much poetry in "Mother-Mother, Wasp Mother" and "Collective Nouns for Humans in the Wild" - as a poet, I love the idea of playing with language like this in a different genre.
I am such a massive fan of Ani King and Kathy Fish! Such distinctive voices in flash. And I'm so glad we have some poets on this workshop - there is SO much language to play with, and I think both approaches (flash and poetry) tap into something a little different in the brain...
I'm not going to talk about Kathy's amazing piece only because it's already been mentioned! I also loved "Cost of Admission" by Cheryl Pappas. To me, the concept (or I guess I'm working on the deeper meaning already) is the lengths we go to in trying to forget our lives are as small as they are: trees clearcut, guns a cock away from shooting, babies crying bloody murder, ant colonies destroyed.
I also noted a circular structure and imagery. There's the shape of the Ferris wheel itself and the story ending on the wheel again. And when the ride ends we’ll be right back where we started. The way Pappas reduces us to popcorn-chewers and sandal-wearers gives kind of a dehumanizing, sci-fi vibe. I really admire writers who can pull off a story like this in one sentence!
Lorri, love your analysis of "Cost of Admission" and I didn't notice until I read your comment that Pappas did all *that* in one sentence. My interpretation of "Cost of Admission" is quite different & I love that about flash - it can say different things to different readers.
Wonderful observations, thank you so much for sharing. I love this story too. So tiny but somehow manages to conjure up all that imagery and secondary meaning. You're so right about the circular shape reflecting the wheel, and the turning of our lives. I always feel like this one has an almost cinematic overhead view, as if we're looking down from high above.
The magic of flash, eh? So many more great stories to share. I hope you stick around and keep sharing your insights!
Mother-Mother Wasp-Mother was my favorite for its beautiful rhythm and slow unfolding of the disaster of abandonment. Heartrending.
It's so gorgeous. And YES that rhythm and gradual growing dread... And the ominous background hum of wasps. Gives me shivers!
Yup me too, right at the top for me