In both these essays I see an economy of words. Each word is selected with a lot of thought so it can be as meaningful as possible.
- In Taste Test!: the author doesn't enunciates the son explicitly but innovatively - "he's six and he loves taste tests". I also love the phrases: "I brought home my metaphors" or "I don't entirely get it and I am it" to refer to the difficulty of explaining the term non-binary without being over-explanatory.
- I see something similar in Strawberry Tongue: when the author says her mother "blends pork chops into liquid", she describes the gravity of the grandma's condition without sounding dramatic. And I believe at the end when she says the grandma "can no longer see" the quails, I feel implied the grandma died without saying it. I also find beautiful when she says her friend thought she called her grandma 'God' and how she says "a mother of six is a god to many". It's a beautiful anecdote connected to an interior reflection very effectively.
I admire how we gradually see that Harms' structure is also tonal: her associative sections and the movements between them mirror the movement of the speaker's mind as she experiences being sick. I love when an essay can emerge from a psychic state, like sickness or loneliness or anger or joy, and embody it even through its formal elements. The essay as a medium of emotion. Also, thanks to Andrea and the other writers here for the thoughtful observations on my essay. I appreciate reading them. One thought to add: as I was structuring it, I was using the horizontal images of the sherbet, which are the ones I describe in the essay, to create its sections and structure. All best to all of your muses!
Thx for these thoughts Eric. Love how visual you get with structure. And your observation of Harm's structure as tonal. Employing all the senses--great! -A
I liked how there were other details in Taste Test to add to the coming out and nonbinary aspect. For example, 1) beginning on the stairs - a liminal place and a place of active transition. 2) Eating on a battered trunk that serves as a table instead of eating on a table that is table - nontraditional uses. 3) The struggle to get a corporation to provide all the types of sherbet - getting official recognition of nonbinary types.
I did wonder whether craft is the only difference between Taste Test and the cliché "Made Up Kid Monday" posts on LinkedIn because the struggle is all on the adult's side and the kid turns out wiser than expected - much to the pride of the parent.
Nevertheless thanks for sharing, it was a really interesting way to tackle a difficult subject. And it's so nice to have a glossary of terms. "Structure" used to confuse me.
Great observations Dave--really zeroing in--this is what an essayist does and these subtle nuances often come in revision, but also spontaenously, unconsciously as we write.
1)--yes he starts in medias res, right in the middle of things, on the stairs.
2) great observation of the nontraditional table
3) and an interesting interpretation/observation, love it
So meta and SO good! Love the eclipse analogy. I will definitely be referring to this essay when I forget (again) what a braided essay can do. Thanks, Andrea!
This is so hard for me. I’m used to writing in a diaristic style, much tell, little show. Reading these essays showed me how skillful these writers are in their scenebuilding… I have a lot to learn. You pointing out their technique is very helpful. Great essays appear effortless and it’s illuminating to see how they achieve that effect.
Hi Feli. Great essay isn't effortless, but cool how it reads that way--still hard work, but fun too. If you journal, diary--that's great as you are tuned in to your internal dialogue, interiority. In Lesson #6, we're going to do a six-part prompt that will guide you through the steps to building an essay. You will describe the scene and characters; you will write some dialogue; you will say what happens (scene) and then you'll identify what it's about. That's a quick summary and simplification, we'll go into more detail and I provides examples--I think this will be a process that will help you, all of us, get the foundation of an essay on the page. And always, the reading--that shows us. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Writers! I'm a little slow to comment today because I've been traveling--in the air, on the road, but now I've arrived. I hope you enjoyed the readings in Lesson #2 and the talk on scene and structure. Let us know what you find and feel free to ask me anything anytime. That's what's great about a Substack course, it's on you timetable. Now onward to the Comments.
Taste Test! Wow, this was so well-done! The bookending and the metaphor, as you mentioned. I love this line: "I don’t entirely get it and I am it." He's found a simple way to introduce the subject to his son while also letting adult readers know that it's okay if we've struggled with understanding, too. And the son's response is priceless!
Hi Lorri. Yes yes to all you share here. Like we said in lesson #1, personal essays are true stories--and what makes "read true" is authenticity. Everyone's truth differs--we can accept that when what the narrator says and tells us feels authentic--that's what I find working in the line of dialogue you point to--he's being honest about what he knows and feels. Thx for sharing your insights!
Hi, Andrea.... I know we're not delving into essay types, but I have to ask: would you say Strawberry Tongue is verging on a collage essay? It feels like what I loved writing when I started, which I used to compare to my hair: intentionally crafted with messy bits sticking out.
Hi John and Lorri--I say Yes to what you both outline here. Yes, it's a segmented essay, yes it braids two stories (she and her son have strep; her mom dying in Idaho) and yes a collage of sorts as she follows some other tangents. And yes there may be an essay-defined distinction between collage and mosaic--mosaic will have a repeating patterns, but there may be different weights than in a braid--collage can be more free form. That's my take, but I don't think it matters what we call it in the end. Plus, essays can employ more than one structure. When I teach the different essay types (which like I said we won't go to deep into here), I provide a definition and an example--and then I say don't worry about what to call it. Because another reader will read it and call it something else--sometimes it's clear and distinct, sometime it comes down to splitting definition hairs. Best to look at the craft and see how the structure supports the aboutness and throughline. Thx to you both for raising these thoughts--sophisticated essay talk :-)
I don't think I've actively thought about the "more than one structure" possibility, but I definitely get that readers will receive it differently. And if the essay works, they won't care what type of essay it is. It's more us experimenting with different forms to figure out how to tell our story best. And also, I agree with John. I love trying out different forms because it makes the process more fun and less daunting!
Hi John, I saw the word "braid" in the lesson so I think this would be a braided essay over collage. I still struggle with the types of essays, but I think a braided essay goes back and forth between two or more related parts, while a collage essay contains seemingly unrelated parts that by their proximity create something new. (I'm sure Andrea will clarify if that's not right.) But that begs the question of what is mosaic writing? I know there are resources out there for this info, I just can't find them right now.
Hi Lorri. Sorry I don't think I responded to this. In Lesson #8, I provide some Resources. One book that I list is A Harp in the Stars, An Anthology of Lyric Essays, edited by Randon Billings Noble. In Randon's introduction to the collection, she provides her definitions for the different essay types. Segmented essays include fragmented, collage and mosaic. She describes mosaic this way: "How you think of an essay may influence how you write it. Citrus fruits come in segments; so do worms. Each segment is part of an organic whole. But a fragmented essay may be broken on purpose and a collage or mosaic deliberately glued together." This collection includes essays employing a wide range of structures--and the essays are fantastic.
In both these essays I see an economy of words. Each word is selected with a lot of thought so it can be as meaningful as possible.
- In Taste Test!: the author doesn't enunciates the son explicitly but innovatively - "he's six and he loves taste tests". I also love the phrases: "I brought home my metaphors" or "I don't entirely get it and I am it" to refer to the difficulty of explaining the term non-binary without being over-explanatory.
- I see something similar in Strawberry Tongue: when the author says her mother "blends pork chops into liquid", she describes the gravity of the grandma's condition without sounding dramatic. And I believe at the end when she says the grandma "can no longer see" the quails, I feel implied the grandma died without saying it. I also find beautiful when she says her friend thought she called her grandma 'God' and how she says "a mother of six is a god to many". It's a beautiful anecdote connected to an interior reflection very effectively.
Should we share our scenes here too?
I admire how we gradually see that Harms' structure is also tonal: her associative sections and the movements between them mirror the movement of the speaker's mind as she experiences being sick. I love when an essay can emerge from a psychic state, like sickness or loneliness or anger or joy, and embody it even through its formal elements. The essay as a medium of emotion. Also, thanks to Andrea and the other writers here for the thoughtful observations on my essay. I appreciate reading them. One thought to add: as I was structuring it, I was using the horizontal images of the sherbet, which are the ones I describe in the essay, to create its sections and structure. All best to all of your muses!
Thx for these thoughts Eric. Love how visual you get with structure. And your observation of Harm's structure as tonal. Employing all the senses--great! -A
I liked how there were other details in Taste Test to add to the coming out and nonbinary aspect. For example, 1) beginning on the stairs - a liminal place and a place of active transition. 2) Eating on a battered trunk that serves as a table instead of eating on a table that is table - nontraditional uses. 3) The struggle to get a corporation to provide all the types of sherbet - getting official recognition of nonbinary types.
I did wonder whether craft is the only difference between Taste Test and the cliché "Made Up Kid Monday" posts on LinkedIn because the struggle is all on the adult's side and the kid turns out wiser than expected - much to the pride of the parent.
Nevertheless thanks for sharing, it was a really interesting way to tackle a difficult subject. And it's so nice to have a glossary of terms. "Structure" used to confuse me.
Great observations Dave--really zeroing in--this is what an essayist does and these subtle nuances often come in revision, but also spontaenously, unconsciously as we write.
1)--yes he starts in medias res, right in the middle of things, on the stairs.
2) great observation of the nontraditional table
3) and an interesting interpretation/observation, love it
You've introduced me to "Made Up Kid Monday" TY
Always appreciate your comments. -A
For everyone, here's a great essay on braided essay by Lily Dancyger
Looking at an Eclipse: A Braided Essay About Braided Essays published in Brevity Blog
https://brevity.wordpress.com/2024/01/30/eclipse/
So meta! Thx Lorri and John for the discussion!
Brilliant essay. Thank you.
Oh, I love this! Thank you. :-)
So meta and SO good! Love the eclipse analogy. I will definitely be referring to this essay when I forget (again) what a braided essay can do. Thanks, Andrea!
This is so hard for me. I’m used to writing in a diaristic style, much tell, little show. Reading these essays showed me how skillful these writers are in their scenebuilding… I have a lot to learn. You pointing out their technique is very helpful. Great essays appear effortless and it’s illuminating to see how they achieve that effect.
Hi Feli. Great essay isn't effortless, but cool how it reads that way--still hard work, but fun too. If you journal, diary--that's great as you are tuned in to your internal dialogue, interiority. In Lesson #6, we're going to do a six-part prompt that will guide you through the steps to building an essay. You will describe the scene and characters; you will write some dialogue; you will say what happens (scene) and then you'll identify what it's about. That's a quick summary and simplification, we'll go into more detail and I provides examples--I think this will be a process that will help you, all of us, get the foundation of an essay on the page. And always, the reading--that shows us. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Writers! I'm a little slow to comment today because I've been traveling--in the air, on the road, but now I've arrived. I hope you enjoyed the readings in Lesson #2 and the talk on scene and structure. Let us know what you find and feel free to ask me anything anytime. That's what's great about a Substack course, it's on you timetable. Now onward to the Comments.
Taste Test! Wow, this was so well-done! The bookending and the metaphor, as you mentioned. I love this line: "I don’t entirely get it and I am it." He's found a simple way to introduce the subject to his son while also letting adult readers know that it's okay if we've struggled with understanding, too. And the son's response is priceless!
Hi Lorri. Yes yes to all you share here. Like we said in lesson #1, personal essays are true stories--and what makes "read true" is authenticity. Everyone's truth differs--we can accept that when what the narrator says and tells us feels authentic--that's what I find working in the line of dialogue you point to--he's being honest about what he knows and feels. Thx for sharing your insights!
Hello,in the scene of building and structure,Humble is the order of the day,it is like father and son eating sherbet every day,
yes agreed Rebecca--the small looms large here. thx!
Hi, Andrea.... I know we're not delving into essay types, but I have to ask: would you say Strawberry Tongue is verging on a collage essay? It feels like what I loved writing when I started, which I used to compare to my hair: intentionally crafted with messy bits sticking out.
Hi John and Lorri--I say Yes to what you both outline here. Yes, it's a segmented essay, yes it braids two stories (she and her son have strep; her mom dying in Idaho) and yes a collage of sorts as she follows some other tangents. And yes there may be an essay-defined distinction between collage and mosaic--mosaic will have a repeating patterns, but there may be different weights than in a braid--collage can be more free form. That's my take, but I don't think it matters what we call it in the end. Plus, essays can employ more than one structure. When I teach the different essay types (which like I said we won't go to deep into here), I provide a definition and an example--and then I say don't worry about what to call it. Because another reader will read it and call it something else--sometimes it's clear and distinct, sometime it comes down to splitting definition hairs. Best to look at the craft and see how the structure supports the aboutness and throughline. Thx to you both for raising these thoughts--sophisticated essay talk :-)
After reading Lorri's good comment last night, I had this thought: not every braid is tightly woven. ; )
I don't think I've actively thought about the "more than one structure" possibility, but I definitely get that readers will receive it differently. And if the essay works, they won't care what type of essay it is. It's more us experimenting with different forms to figure out how to tell our story best. And also, I agree with John. I love trying out different forms because it makes the process more fun and less daunting!
Hi John, I saw the word "braid" in the lesson so I think this would be a braided essay over collage. I still struggle with the types of essays, but I think a braided essay goes back and forth between two or more related parts, while a collage essay contains seemingly unrelated parts that by their proximity create something new. (I'm sure Andrea will clarify if that's not right.) But that begs the question of what is mosaic writing? I know there are resources out there for this info, I just can't find them right now.
Hi Lorri. Sorry I don't think I responded to this. In Lesson #8, I provide some Resources. One book that I list is A Harp in the Stars, An Anthology of Lyric Essays, edited by Randon Billings Noble. In Randon's introduction to the collection, she provides her definitions for the different essay types. Segmented essays include fragmented, collage and mosaic. She describes mosaic this way: "How you think of an essay may influence how you write it. Citrus fruits come in segments; so do worms. Each segment is part of an organic whole. But a fragmented essay may be broken on purpose and a collage or mosaic deliberately glued together." This collection includes essays employing a wide range of structures--and the essays are fantastic.